A dogs perspective on the universe.

Here is a list of
just some of the things I must remember
to be a good Dog:

  1. I will not eat the cat’s food before he eats it or after he throws it up.
  2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
  3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
  4. The sofa is not a ‘face towel’.
  5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
  6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.
  7. Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is an unacceptable way of saying ‘hello’.
  8. I don’t need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m under the coffee table.
  9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house – not after.
  10. I will not come in from outside, and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
  11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room, and lick my crotch.
  12. The cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’, so when I play with him and he makes that noise,  it’s usually not a good thing.